Loneliness
Feeling lonely? You are not alone!
Loneliness hurts, especially in this time of quarantine. Loneliness is the leading reason people seek out therapy and is a risk factor for mortality. Social connection is critical to our health and well-being. We thrive in community, in connection, in giving and receiving love.
When the pain of loneliness takes hold of you, here are some tools that can help build resilience:
Connect with yourself 100%
Most of us have learned to distract ourselves the very moment that we feel an uncomfortable emotion, such as loneliness, surfacing. When we try to resist something, it tends to persist all the more. Distracting ourselves from a core problem does not get at its root.
Give the emotion full expression
Let the emotion take center stage. If you let yourself feel the emotion fully, it may just move through you more quickly.
Go into silence
Choose to do something that simply allows you to be in silence. Be as present as you can with everything around you and within you.
Take care of the body
When we start to take care of our body, we naturally feel better, and, with a positive state of mind, our whole outlook on life can change. One of the best ways to take care of our minds is to take good care of our bodies.
Serve
There is always someone suffering more than we are. This gives us the opportunity to approach others with kindness and a sense of service. No matter what our capabilities may be, we can always contribute to others with as little as a smile.
Connect with nature
If connecting with people is a challenge, connect with nature. Cultivating awe through nature can also help broaden our perspective.
Fall in love with yourself
We often run from solitude for the same reasons we run from loneliness, we fear being alone. Being alone is often the only time we can truly rest, undistracted and unstimulated by the environment and other people.
Know that you are not alone. We are all deeply vulnerable. The pain of loneliness is also one that gives you tremendous depth and empathy. Every difficult experience can make us deeper, wiser, more compassionate and grateful, and, ultimately, happier and more fulfilled.
“Surviving Loneliness Over the Holidays.” Guy Winch, Ph.D., Psychology Today, December 4, 2013
“10 Things to Do If You’re Alone for the Holidays.” Laurie Stoneham, January 14, 2020
“Coping with Lockdown Loneliness during the Holidays.” U.S. News & World Reports, November 22, 2020, source Baylor College of Medicine, news release, November 18, 2020
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), National Helpline 1-800-662-4357
National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI), Greater Los Angeles County, 213-386-3615; Glendale, 213-797-0494
