Grief is universal and a natural response to loss. Though it is often thought of in relation to death, it can occur no matter what type of loss you experience. It might well be the loss of a loved one, but it could also be the loss of a relationship, a job, or something else entirely. The more significant the loss, the more intense your grief is likely to be.

Grief begins in the brain, but it affects the entire body. The moment we learn of our loss, our brain triggers the fight-or-flight response. This heightened state puts extra stress on our organs and bodily functions. This is an individual process and there are many factors that can play a part in how you grieve, such as what you are grieving, your previous experiences of grief and loss, your upbringing, your belief system, and the support you have available. It is important not to expect too much of yourself in the early stages of grief. Give yourself permission to grieve, and do not be afraid to ask for help from a friend or family member or to contact a grief support service. There is no timeline, either. The grieving process may be short or long, and it can feel like it is finished and then return.

There are 5 general stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. There is no standard process for grieving. You may experience one or more of these stages at any time and they will not necessarily happen in order. We all experience grief in life; we just need to be taught the skills to get through it.

It is hard to know what to say or do when trying to comfort someone, but often it is the simple offer of love and support that is the most important. Listen with compassion, show that you hear them, even if you do not fully understand, accept that silence can be helpful because it offers them time to gather their thoughts, be patient, and be there for them long-term. Understand that life might never feel the same for them. They may learn to accept the loss, but the sadness may never completely go away. Let them know it is okay to share their grief no matter when it comes up. When they are ready, encourage them to return to activities or social events that they enjoy over time and offer extra support on days that might be hard or triggering. Above all, please look after yourself. As the saying goes, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

Helping a grieving person can be difficult because the pain of grief may make it hard to communicate. Grief is very personal, so please try to respect one another’s coping techniques and keep talking. The grief will eventually become less intense, and life will be punctuated by more frequent and longer periods of energy and hope. Memories will become less painful, and the loss will become a part of life in a new way. Although it is unlikely that one will ever forget one’s loss, with time and support one can find a way to live with it.

Here are four articles for further reading:

“The Discomfort You are Feeling is Grief,” Scott Berinato, Harvard Business Review, March 23, 2020,

“The Stages of Grief and What to Expect,” Healthline,

“Grief,” Cleveland Clinic,

“How your brain copes with grief, and why it takes time to heal,” Berly McCoy, NPR, December 20, 2021,

“Grief, Loss and Other Life Changes,” University of North Carolina,

Here are today’s Wellness Wednesday Program book suggestions: